Die, Fallon, Die Slowly, Die Painfully

As readers will have surmised, we are not advocates of sport, but we cannot stand idly by while Jimmy Fallon is allowed to befoul America's pastime.

That ugly, unfunny man ran onto the field at Busch stadium to film a scene for the his next box-office bomb, his very presence soiling all that is good and entertaining.

Car Dealer/Commissioner Bud Selig, whose office was created to preserve the integrity and dignity of baseball, is also to blame for this atrocious incident, whose only possible benefit is that now even more people despise Jimmy Fallon.

Die, Fallon, Die Slowly, Die Painfully

As readers will have surmised, we are not advocates of sport, but we cannot stand idly by while Jimmy Fallon is allowed to befoul America's pastime.

That ugly, unfunny man ran onto the field at Busch stadium to film a scene for the his next box-office bomb, his very presence soiling all that is good and entertaining.

Car Dealer/Commissioner Bud Selig, whose office was created to preserve the integrity and dignity of baseball, is also to blame for this atrocious incident, whose only possible benefit is that now even more people despise Jimmy Fallon.