Let's Get the Fuck Out: Norway

We turn our attention to the Kingdom of Norway, "the land of the midnight sun."

We actually have no desire to live in Norway, but we admire their pluck for putting up with the Nazis for five years and not joining the EU, so we thought we'd give them a tumble.

Pros:

1. Capitalist welfare states are A-OK in our book!

2. Nearly everyone in Oslo speaks English, thank God. Not that we won't try to speak whatever they speak normally, of course.

3. The United Nations has decreed Norway the "Best Place to Live" for four years in a row.

Cons:

1. Norway's lifeblood is oil. The oil is going to run out.

2. Apparently, you've been in Norway too long "if you actually believe that there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing."

3. Fish. We're allergic to fish. A traditional Christmastime dish is lutefisk -- dried cod soaked in lye. Thank you, no.

Preliminary Assessment: Well, the fish allergy combined with the fact that we're also allergic to Lutherans pretty much rules this country out entirely.


Next week: Bulgaria

Let's Get the Fuck Out: Norway

We turn our attention to the Kingdom of Norway, "the land of the midnight sun."

We actually have no desire to live in Norway, but we admire their pluck for putting up with the Nazis for five years and not joining the EU, so we thought we'd give them a tumble.

Pros:

1. Capitalist welfare states are A-OK in our book!

2. Nearly everyone in Oslo speaks English, thank God. Not that we won't try to speak whatever they speak normally, of course.

3. The United Nations has decreed Norway the "Best Place to Live" for four years in a row.

Cons:

1. Norway's lifeblood is oil. The oil is going to run out.

2. Apparently, you've been in Norway too long "if you actually believe that there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing."

3. Fish. We're allergic to fish. A traditional Christmastime dish is lutefisk -- dried cod soaked in lye. Thank you, no.

Preliminary Assessment: Well, the fish allergy combined with the fact that we're also allergic to Lutherans pretty much rules this country out entirely.


Next week: Bulgaria