No Child Left Behind, My Ass

Media Watch breaks down a little-known provision in the Elementary & Secondary Education Act of 2001 (for propaganda purposes, known as the 'No Child Left Behind Act') that helps military recruiters target high school students.

The provision allows military recruiters to ask schools for students' names, addresses, and home telephone numbers.

Parents and adult high-schoolers can opt out of the information list through their local school district, but clearly, few of them are even aware of it.

Gee, maybe Bill Cosby is right! Were more black people were named 'Todd' or 'Melissa,' fewer would be singled out by recruiters, and fewer would be coming home dead for Christmas.

Leo Gorcey Speaks!

We don't normally advertise products, especially since you're the only person who reads this blog regularly, but when we heard about the re-issue of Leo Gorcey's booze-fueled, self-published 1967 autobiography, we had to spread the word!

A first edition can cost $1000 -- only 1000 copies were printed, and to once again maximize profit, the re-issue is limited as well.

An Original Dead End Kid Presents Dead End Yells, Wedding Bells, Cockle Shells and Dizzy Spells should provide hours of entertaiment. Gorcey was indeed one of the original 'Dead End Kids' featured in the play and 1937 movie Dead End.

The 'Dead End Kids' became a movie franchise, and from 1937 to 1956 he starred in seven 'Dead End Kids' movies, 21 'East Side Kids' films, and in 41 'Bowery Boys' movies. That means Gorcey was still playing a teen-aged tough until he was almost 40.

Once read, we will post a review!

King Of All Bullshit

So Howard Stern pulled off a publicity stunt today in New York's Union Square Park, giving away satellite radio boomboxes to promote his move to Sirius Satellite Radio, and hours later Mel Karmazin is named CEO of the same company.

Clearly, the whole I'm-the-new-Lenny-Bruce schtick Stern has been doing incessantly for months now was just a ploy to make money. Stern doesn't give a damn about free speech -- they've been censoring his show for decades, why get angry now?

Karmazin (who resigned from Viacom in June) and Stern cooked this whole thing up.

We mean, without a well-orchestrated plan, who on earth idiot would pay to listen to the radio of his own volition?

Fly The Yammering Skies

Reading of the race underway to allow cell phone use on airplanes, we learn (are we the last?) that cell phones are not banned because they interfere with navigation, but because they would blow out cellular networks on the ground.

It seems obvious now, and of course this explains how hundreds of people used their cell phones on September 11, 2001 from the hijacked planes.

Interrracial Hall Of Shame

The Smoking Gun has a tawdry little story about Bill Maher, who apparently digs the black chicks... at least the ones who look like men.

Coco Johnsen, a not-safe-for-work 'model' -- and no doubt, 'aspiring actress' -- is suing Maher for allegedly reneging on a promise to marry and impregnate her.

Come on, Maher, let's face it: you're no Robert DeNiro.


Update: Maher fights back!

Zoom Vacuum

There's only one reason we remember the 1970's version of the WGBH children's show ZOOM: we auditioned and they never called us back, the bastards.

Turns out that we didn't really miss out. These were the days of a truly non-commercial PBS.

Apparently, no cast member lasted more than two years, and parents had to sign an agreement barring their children from doing commercials for five years, and from appearing on television at all for three years after leaving ZOOM.

Well, we wanted to be a child star, but what did we know? At that age, we were actually envious of Janet Jackson.

Costco Caskets

We have never been inside a Costco, having no need to buy wholesale-priced baby food in bulk, but a casual visit to their site alerted us that they now sell caskets on line in more than a dozen states.

In Chicago, you can buy a casket for $800, and also make funeral arrangements in the Costco.

As disgusting as they appear to be, Costco certainly wins the Best Newly-Necessary Disclaimer Award:

THERE IS NO SCIENTIFIC OR OTHER EVIDENCE THAT ANY CASKET WITH A SEALING DEVICE WILL PRESERVE HUMAN REMAINS.

Baby-Having Crazy Selfish People

In New York City, a 57 year-old motivational speaker is pregnant with twins.

Researchers announced that it is "feasible" to transplant a woman's entire ovary into her upper arm.

Is no one familiar with the basic principles of genetics?

We're not, but it has occurred to us that if one cannot have a child naturally, perhaps one ought not to have one at all.

Is no one familiar with the existence of adoption? We are.

When White People Attack II

A Marietta man allegedly tried to a rob a bank that was merely under construction, and therefore had no money in it yet.

According to the [subscription required] Atlanta Journal-Constitution, police said it "should have been obvious" that the bank was still under construction, because workers were there, carrying tools.

Actually, we think it should have been obvious because the suspect should have observed the bank for a few days before he hit it. And why were there "tellers" in the bank if there was no money in the bank?

We also think he should have least taken the teller's purse.

Blogger Sucks

Sorry to all our readers... blogger has been for most of the past few days, no doubt clogged with political punditry.

Question Of The Day

Osama Uncut

Aljazeera has published the full transcript of Osama bin Laden's most recent video.

Osama earns a few debating points, for example: if al-Qaida hates freedom, "why [they] don't strike for example - Sweden?"

Electile Dysfunction 2004

Here's a brief sampling of the sources of possible democratic travesty today:

Alabama's head of voter registration resigned less than two weeks before the election.

In Florida, the Bay County elections supervisor discovered three forged voter registation forms. One of the forms used his son's name.

Arizona-based "consulting firm" Sproul & Associates is under investigation in Nevada and Oregon over claims that canvassers hired by the company destroyed registration forms completed by Democrats.

In New Orleans, precincts are reporting broken voting machines... precincts with a lot of black people in them, anyway.

A Charlotte Observer investigation found that as many as 60,000 people are registered to vote in both North and South Carolina.

Read here the full rundown of the destruction of democracy by Chinese water torture.

The Great Assmancipator

If you missed the "Lincoln was gay" bandwagon the last time it came to town, it's back!

The Intimate World of Abraham Lincoln claims new "evidence" of Lincoln's homosexuality, including his fondness for anal humor and the fact that he went through puberty at an early age.

The author, the late C.A. Tripp, is a gay activist hero for having written about homosexuality in 1975 as a "healthy occurrence."

We agree, but someone should tell these people that black people have already tried the so-and-so-is-black-so-we're-just-as-good-as-you-are brand of historical revisionism, with little success.

On other hand, this portrait we used is pretty gay....

No Child Left Behind, My Ass

Media Watch breaks down a little-known provision in the Elementary & Secondary Education Act of 2001 (for propaganda purposes, known as the 'No Child Left Behind Act') that helps military recruiters target high school students.

The provision allows military recruiters to ask schools for students' names, addresses, and home telephone numbers.

Parents and adult high-schoolers can opt out of the information list through their local school district, but clearly, few of them are even aware of it.

Gee, maybe Bill Cosby is right! Were more black people were named 'Todd' or 'Melissa,' fewer would be singled out by recruiters, and fewer would be coming home dead for Christmas.

Leo Gorcey Speaks!

We don't normally advertise products, especially since you're the only person who reads this blog regularly, but when we heard about the re-issue of Leo Gorcey's booze-fueled, self-published 1967 autobiography, we had to spread the word!

A first edition can cost $1000 -- only 1000 copies were printed, and to once again maximize profit, the re-issue is limited as well.

An Original Dead End Kid Presents Dead End Yells, Wedding Bells, Cockle Shells and Dizzy Spells should provide hours of entertaiment. Gorcey was indeed one of the original 'Dead End Kids' featured in the play and 1937 movie Dead End.

The 'Dead End Kids' became a movie franchise, and from 1937 to 1956 he starred in seven 'Dead End Kids' movies, 21 'East Side Kids' films, and in 41 'Bowery Boys' movies. That means Gorcey was still playing a teen-aged tough until he was almost 40.

Once read, we will post a review!

King Of All Bullshit

So Howard Stern pulled off a publicity stunt today in New York's Union Square Park, giving away satellite radio boomboxes to promote his move to Sirius Satellite Radio, and hours later Mel Karmazin is named CEO of the same company.

Clearly, the whole I'm-the-new-Lenny-Bruce schtick Stern has been doing incessantly for months now was just a ploy to make money. Stern doesn't give a damn about free speech -- they've been censoring his show for decades, why get angry now?

Karmazin (who resigned from Viacom in June) and Stern cooked this whole thing up.

We mean, without a well-orchestrated plan, who on earth idiot would pay to listen to the radio of his own volition?

Fly The Yammering Skies

Reading of the race underway to allow cell phone use on airplanes, we learn (are we the last?) that cell phones are not banned because they interfere with navigation, but because they would blow out cellular networks on the ground.

It seems obvious now, and of course this explains how hundreds of people used their cell phones on September 11, 2001 from the hijacked planes.

Interrracial Hall Of Shame

The Smoking Gun has a tawdry little story about Bill Maher, who apparently digs the black chicks... at least the ones who look like men.

Coco Johnsen, a not-safe-for-work 'model' -- and no doubt, 'aspiring actress' -- is suing Maher for allegedly reneging on a promise to marry and impregnate her.

Come on, Maher, let's face it: you're no Robert DeNiro.


Update: Maher fights back!

Zoom Vacuum

There's only one reason we remember the 1970's version of the WGBH children's show ZOOM: we auditioned and they never called us back, the bastards.

Turns out that we didn't really miss out. These were the days of a truly non-commercial PBS.

Apparently, no cast member lasted more than two years, and parents had to sign an agreement barring their children from doing commercials for five years, and from appearing on television at all for three years after leaving ZOOM.

Well, we wanted to be a child star, but what did we know? At that age, we were actually envious of Janet Jackson.

Costco Caskets

We have never been inside a Costco, having no need to buy wholesale-priced baby food in bulk, but a casual visit to their site alerted us that they now sell caskets on line in more than a dozen states.

In Chicago, you can buy a casket for $800, and also make funeral arrangements in the Costco.

As disgusting as they appear to be, Costco certainly wins the Best Newly-Necessary Disclaimer Award:

THERE IS NO SCIENTIFIC OR OTHER EVIDENCE THAT ANY CASKET WITH A SEALING DEVICE WILL PRESERVE HUMAN REMAINS.

Baby-Having Crazy Selfish People

In New York City, a 57 year-old motivational speaker is pregnant with twins.

Researchers announced that it is "feasible" to transplant a woman's entire ovary into her upper arm.

Is no one familiar with the basic principles of genetics?

We're not, but it has occurred to us that if one cannot have a child naturally, perhaps one ought not to have one at all.

Is no one familiar with the existence of adoption? We are.

When White People Attack II

A Marietta man allegedly tried to a rob a bank that was merely under construction, and therefore had no money in it yet.

According to the [subscription required] Atlanta Journal-Constitution, police said it "should have been obvious" that the bank was still under construction, because workers were there, carrying tools.

Actually, we think it should have been obvious because the suspect should have observed the bank for a few days before he hit it. And why were there "tellers" in the bank if there was no money in the bank?

We also think he should have least taken the teller's purse.

Blogger Sucks

Sorry to all our readers... blogger has been for most of the past few days, no doubt clogged with political punditry.

Question Of The Day

Osama Uncut

Aljazeera has published the full transcript of Osama bin Laden's most recent video.

Osama earns a few debating points, for example: if al-Qaida hates freedom, "why [they] don't strike for example - Sweden?"

Electile Dysfunction 2004

Here's a brief sampling of the sources of possible democratic travesty today:

Alabama's head of voter registration resigned less than two weeks before the election.

In Florida, the Bay County elections supervisor discovered three forged voter registation forms. One of the forms used his son's name.

Arizona-based "consulting firm" Sproul & Associates is under investigation in Nevada and Oregon over claims that canvassers hired by the company destroyed registration forms completed by Democrats.

In New Orleans, precincts are reporting broken voting machines... precincts with a lot of black people in them, anyway.

A Charlotte Observer investigation found that as many as 60,000 people are registered to vote in both North and South Carolina.

Read here the full rundown of the destruction of democracy by Chinese water torture.

The Great Assmancipator

If you missed the "Lincoln was gay" bandwagon the last time it came to town, it's back!

The Intimate World of Abraham Lincoln claims new "evidence" of Lincoln's homosexuality, including his fondness for anal humor and the fact that he went through puberty at an early age.

The author, the late C.A. Tripp, is a gay activist hero for having written about homosexuality in 1975 as a "healthy occurrence."

We agree, but someone should tell these people that black people have already tried the so-and-so-is-black-so-we're-just-as-good-as-you-are brand of historical revisionism, with little success.

On other hand, this portrait we used is pretty gay....